I am a little happy jumping bean...

Weekend Burnout
What a long ass weekend. Driving...drinking, partying...not all @ the same time, mind you. But nonetheless it was a long weekend. An old friend was down from NYC and we kicked it together w/ some other old friends. It was good to see her again...a little bit of drama, but overall it was cool hanging out. Saturday was spent getting an oil change, car wash, and burning a CD for my drive to San Diego, for one of my girl's grad parties...There was an unfortunate incident in where our girls could not live up to the bet that they were supposed to do this hilarious routine in front of everyone at the part, but the CD wasn't being read by the computer...AIWA's suck ass!!! It was hella fun that day/night...and even though I was the ONLY person who ended up staying over...it was fun. At least me and her got to do a lot of catching up and stuff...Sunday...I slept over in SD, remember? So her friend took me home(Thanks a million, by the way, for real) this morning, and we chatted and chatted the whole way...well actually, I was posing questions and she was entertaining me by answering them. A very cool gal...so I said we should kick it some time, and she agreed...and so I got her number...and definitely look forward to another chance to hang out. Very cool. Went w/ my roomie to his basketball game...it was AFRICA hot in that gym dude. Then went to church after helping another friend of mine move her belongings from one place of residence to another...and then played ball...stupidly w/o eating first...so now I'm hella tired and eating ramen...and I feel like throwing up...blech. I'm surprised my brain and my fingers are even coordinated enough to let me write this darned blog.

Can't teach an old dog new tricks...or unteach old tricks?
I was doing so well not smoking for a while...but lately...I've regressed and picked up the filthy habit again. Well, realizing this, I definitely plan on being more agressive about NOT smoking...but I won't be stupid enough to say I'll NEVER do it again...I don't think I'm that strong yet...but hey, I'm human, and I have my weaknesses...and this lil stick...ooooh, this lil stick so awesome when I light it and breathe it...no...must...fight....the....temptation...aaaaargh...ha ha ha, I feel a lil giddy today...so I'm being dramatic about everything. Seriously though...cutting smoking down to at most 2 times a week....okay? Good

Fading out
If there's one thing I learned from my hangout on Friday and in light of recent events...it sucks to think that friendships...sometimes just fade out. I'm not talking about any of my own personal relationships, but I've noticed others that either are...or already have. And thinking about those certain relationships made me realize that there are times when my own friends thought our friendship was fading out, or I was getting distant, and neglectful. I admit, that I DO get like that sometimes...not because don't want the friendship anymore. I have several circles of close friends and I tend to hang out w/ them in clusters. I'll spend a lot of time w/ a certain friend and not spend time w/ others. Apparently, I not very good about managing my time...so things get a little hairy sometimes. But to those of you who subscribe...this is a forewarning....well not really a warning inasmuch as it is a telling of facts. I MIGHT seem to start to get distant, but that's only because things are getting hectic...and my balancing act is out of control. If ever that should happen...please just say something to me...because my mind just gets frazzled like that...and I apologize in advance. With that said and done...I try my hardest to not let my friendships get distant. This is known by all my close friends because we realize that we do get busy and we have our own things to do a lot of the time, but when we talk it's like a day hasn't passed...that's what I call a friendship.

Goals
Last but not least...Goals...this recent IM conversation:

liljayster78 (11:08:42 PM): so what are you doing right now?
freidaluvsu (11:08:54 PM): writing my goals out
freidaluvsu (11:08:56 PM): how bout you
liljayster78 (11:09:15 PM): writing out your goals?
liljayster78 (11:09:19 PM): wow, that's impressive
liljayster78 (11:09:25 PM): I think I should do that some time
liljayster78 (11:09:33 PM): me, I'm just writing in my blog
liljayster78 (11:09:37 PM): and killing a little time
freidaluvsu (11:09:40 PM): what
freidaluvsu (11:10:18 PM): blog
freidaluvsu (11:10:30 PM): i'm doing this to get focused cuz i lost it
liljayster78 (11:11:11 PM): lost your focus?
liljayster78 (11:11:39 PM): I think my focus could use a little fine tuning. Sheesh.

...got me to thinking about my own goals. Mind you me, these are only short term (duration about 3 months? or something like that)

1. Cut down smoking to @ MOST 2 cigs a week...and eventually 1...then none....
2. Get better damn job...full time, full benefits.
3. Tie up any and all loose ends that may exist in my life...whatever they may be...
sorry....this seems all shady and secretive...but hey, I have the right to filter....
4. At least START my europe scrapbook....start...dammit.
5. Work out 3-4 times a week, consistently...and ere go, lose a few pounds ;)
6. Stop complaining about everything.. :)

K...I'm pooped...g'nite...

"The happy man is not he who seems thus to others, but who seems thus to himself. "
-Publilius Syrus